What Should I Say?

A few days ago, a friend asked me to pray for someone I didn’t know. A pregnant woman was going to be tested to determine if her unborn child had Down Syndrome. Although I wasn’t told specifically how to pray, I knew what the mother wanted—a healthy baby.    

What mother wouldn’t want that? 

Perhaps I’m wrong, but I bet most people who received that prayer request got on their knees and pleaded with God for a negative result for that test, for a healthy baby. But as the mother of an adult child with disability, I had to do more. 

Of course, I asked God to maintain the health of this mother and her unborn child. However, I also thanked Him in advance for His provision if indeed this child was born with a disability.     

Disability is not a curse. In fact, many parents say having a child with a disability is a blessing. It’s hard—very hard—but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. 

Three percent of children in the United States are born with disabilities. At some point, we may have the opportunity to minister to a parent whose child, born or unborn, has been diagnosed with a disability. Unless we’ve processed what God’s Word says about disability and applied it to our lives, we may not know what to say. If that’s the case, we may avoid the parents and the elephant-in-the-room conversation. Or worse, we may say something entirely inappropriate like, “At least your other child is normal” or “I’m sorry.” (Why would anyone be sorry for the gift of a child?) In either case, the family feels isolated and rejected. And that’s exactly what the enemy wants.  

How can the Church help in this situation? Give your congregation the opportunity to know families with disabilities and experience God’s truth in their lives. Don’t only think of the Church as ministering to families with disabilities, but provide opportunities for youth and adults with disabilities to minister to your members as well. Develop a Biblical perspective of disability by going through The Banquet Network’s “Inspire Curriculum” in small groups. If any of that sounds too scary or too difficult for you, reach out to The Banquet Network. We exist to inspire, equip, and resource churches to serve and include families affected by special needs and disabilities. For your church. For free. We hope to hear from you soon.

Glenda Durano is a Board Member for The Banquet Network and frequently speaks to church and ministry groups about how God has used disability to show Himself in her family’s life. For more stories like this one, go to our blog page, or click to connect, learn or donate to the mission of The Banquet Network.