My Buddy Ben
I pull up to his house at 9:00am on the dot and walk to the front door. The father of the home greets me and steps aside so his son, Ben, can walk through the entrance. Ben is holding a Black iPad in one hand and a red gym bag in the other.
I greet him with a cheery, “Good morning, Ben!”
“Good morning, Ben,” he repeats.
Ben is generally nonverbal. He can say a few things but finds it difficult to complete full sentences. Most times he repeats what I say.
Ben opens the passenger seat door, buckles his seatbelt, and turns to me and says, “Mrs. Q.”
Mrs. Q is my mom. She works at Cornerstone Presbyterian Church’s Preschool in Landenberg, Pa. Ben adores Mrs. Q. Why? Because Mrs. Q adores Ben!
Ben and I would visit her office once or twice a week to help her with some tasks around the building. Mrs. Q creates jobs that Ben can find success in, such as stamping envelopes, assembling goodie bags for church guests, or Ben’s personal favorite, shredding paper. He takes a piece of paper, looks over the details written, then inserts it into the shredding machine.
It didn’t take long for Mrs. Q to fall in love with Ben and, believe it or not, he’s won the hearts of the entire church staff, too. Everyone on staff at the church knows Ben.
Ben’s family has a running joke that Ben is a celebrity because anywhere he goes, someone knows Ben. When Ben and I went to the YMCA to work out and swim, Ben would have at least five people approach him to say hello...and that was only while he was on the elliptical!
I had the opportunity to work as Ben’s Community Support Professional from 2018-2019. It still reigns as one of the best jobs I’ve ever worked. My goal in working with Ben was to love him and his family well, and to be honest, Ben did not make that a hard task. He has these beautiful crystal blue-green eyes, and his face is nearly always marked with a comforting smile. And the fact that someone who is nonverbal can win the hearts of many is a true testament to Ben’s character.
My favorite part about Ben is his humming. He likes to hum the tunes of random songs he’s heard in his lifetime and it’s a guessing game for anyone listening. Once I figured out his passion for country music, it was game over for our ongoing competition of name that tune. Now we get to sing together.
If it wasn’t for my husband and my move to a new area following our wedding, I would still be working with Ben. After spending every weekday together from nine to four, it was really hard to leave him. We were buddies.
I was incredibly anxious about who would take my place with Ben. I was slightly worried about someone trumping the friendship Ben and I had developed, but I was more concerned about the next person taking care of Ben. In a position like this, it would be easy for someone to take advantage of him.
I still stay in close contact with Ben and his family. This summer, Ben had the opportunity to join The Banquet Network at our Celebrate Abilities Weekend Camp. I think Ben stole my husband Seth’s heart from me that weekend because Ben would not let go of Seth’s hand. Ben’s mom and I, jokingly, think that Ben is lulling Seth into a false sense of security because he misses having me around.
When Ben’s family found a new person to work with him, it was my mom who kept me updated on Ben’s new companion. Why? Because every morning, Ben still gets in his support worker’s car and says, “Mrs. Q.” Ben chooses to go to the church not only to see my mom, but all the members on staff, because it is the church that’s made him feel loved and known.
How silly of me to think that Ben would not be provided for if I was not there to provide for him. And how amazing to know that the staff of the church that raised me are the ones making sure that my buddy Ben is still cared for and loved.
This week is Direct Support Professionals’ Recognition Week. Before I began working at The Banquet Network, I worked in the field as a Direct Support Professional for two and a half years. The weight of expending your energy to care for others can be exhausting. This type of work is known to have high turnover due to the risk of burnout. Though there are hard and low days, there are also good and memorable days -- like the day I heard Ben complete a full sentence for the first time. Investing in others is rewarding.
On behalf of The Banquet Network, thank you to all the Direct Support Professionals for engaging in the lives of others. You are a gift to the lives of many. Thank you for all you have done and are continuing to do. I pray that the Lord will bless you in your acts of service.
By: Allie McCarty